Since we took our trip to Mexico in January, we are on week 3 of our home bound Spring Break. It’s beginning to wear on everyone in our house, but more than we realized on the boys.
Tonight, at bedtime, M had a breakdown, different than a meltdown. I can’t remember what started it, but all of a sudden he was in tears about being stuck at home. He said in a breaking voice, "It was fun the first day, but now it's not fun at all! We can't do anything AT ALL!" Which then had me in tears. We have been trying hard to keep things "normal" for the boys. Normal, but with way more screen time than we would ever allow (movies every other night, Super Smash Bros in exchange for outside time, Zoom education meetings, Sonic games on the iPad, Pokémon on Netflix...). Normal, but with Mommy and Daddy home, but working all day long and Zoom meetings they make random appearances in the background. Normal, but staying in our house or away from anyone we know.
For M & L, it's hard to understand because we are trying not to scare them. The thing is, we are normally a BUSY family! The items we have had to cross off our calendar are probably more than we should have. We had baseball, swimming lessons, Cub Scouts meetings and Pinewood Derby, church choir, a museum visit with Uncle N and Aunt T, a birthday party for Uncle M, lots of church during Great Lent, the Blue Heron Carnival. Now we have nothing and can't even go to the park. Even though parks were open until tonight, we had been avoiding them for the past week and a half. This was also tough for the them, as they love going to different parks.
And then M sobbed, "And we can't even see Baba!" Yes, we can't see our parents/grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, because we are trying to keep them safe. If the boys were home on a day off from school, they would often go to Baba and Grandpa's house and Baba would take them to a park or the library. (Darn it, libraries are closed, too!) The sacrifices that are difficult for us to make are bearable, because we understand the consequences. But for our children, it's even more difficult to bear, because they don't fully understand. The other night, I asked M if he had any questions about what was going on, or if he was scared at all. He said he wasn't because we didn't tell him enough about it. That was intentional. He said he didn't know if he wanted to know more when I offered to talk to him more about it away from L. But tonight, perhaps the not knowing is just as difficult, but in a different way.
We talked about finding ways to still have fun while at home. Playing more games. Visiting different State Parks. Learning about what life was like when Mommy and Daddy were growing up. And we FaceTime called Baba. And then we read TWO chapters of "Voyage of the Dawn Treader". We were at the Magician's house and the Dufflepuds, which M found hilarious. So we ended the night in laughter.
Parents, let's give our children a bit more grace. We are heading into next week with more challenges if you are just starting e-Learning. Let's find ways to connect them to their grandparents and their friends. Pray with them. Take some time away from work, if your manager is flexible, so you can sit with them while they do their school work or just need some time to snuggle. Find ways to talk to them about what's going on without scaring them. I don't know how to do this yet, but I sure as heck am going to figure out because five more weeks being at home is not going to get any easier.
Tonight, at bedtime, M had a breakdown, different than a meltdown. I can’t remember what started it, but all of a sudden he was in tears about being stuck at home. He said in a breaking voice, "It was fun the first day, but now it's not fun at all! We can't do anything AT ALL!" Which then had me in tears. We have been trying hard to keep things "normal" for the boys. Normal, but with way more screen time than we would ever allow (movies every other night, Super Smash Bros in exchange for outside time, Zoom education meetings, Sonic games on the iPad, Pokémon on Netflix...). Normal, but with Mommy and Daddy home, but working all day long and Zoom meetings they make random appearances in the background. Normal, but staying in our house or away from anyone we know.
For M & L, it's hard to understand because we are trying not to scare them. The thing is, we are normally a BUSY family! The items we have had to cross off our calendar are probably more than we should have. We had baseball, swimming lessons, Cub Scouts meetings and Pinewood Derby, church choir, a museum visit with Uncle N and Aunt T, a birthday party for Uncle M, lots of church during Great Lent, the Blue Heron Carnival. Now we have nothing and can't even go to the park. Even though parks were open until tonight, we had been avoiding them for the past week and a half. This was also tough for the them, as they love going to different parks.
And then M sobbed, "And we can't even see Baba!" Yes, we can't see our parents/grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins, because we are trying to keep them safe. If the boys were home on a day off from school, they would often go to Baba and Grandpa's house and Baba would take them to a park or the library. (Darn it, libraries are closed, too!) The sacrifices that are difficult for us to make are bearable, because we understand the consequences. But for our children, it's even more difficult to bear, because they don't fully understand. The other night, I asked M if he had any questions about what was going on, or if he was scared at all. He said he wasn't because we didn't tell him enough about it. That was intentional. He said he didn't know if he wanted to know more when I offered to talk to him more about it away from L. But tonight, perhaps the not knowing is just as difficult, but in a different way.
We talked about finding ways to still have fun while at home. Playing more games. Visiting different State Parks. Learning about what life was like when Mommy and Daddy were growing up. And we FaceTime called Baba. And then we read TWO chapters of "Voyage of the Dawn Treader". We were at the Magician's house and the Dufflepuds, which M found hilarious. So we ended the night in laughter.
Parents, let's give our children a bit more grace. We are heading into next week with more challenges if you are just starting e-Learning. Let's find ways to connect them to their grandparents and their friends. Pray with them. Take some time away from work, if your manager is flexible, so you can sit with them while they do their school work or just need some time to snuggle. Find ways to talk to them about what's going on without scaring them. I don't know how to do this yet, but I sure as heck am going to figure out because five more weeks being at home is not going to get any easier.
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